Cooking Blooper #1: Green Pork Ribs

5 Oct

Back in the day when Heinz was going through the colored ketchup phase that thankfully was short lived; my mom bought a few bottles of green ketchup. It didn’t take long for us to come to the conclusion that green ketchup was repulsive. I couldn’t bring myself to even taste it. Yuck!

I decided one day because we had a work crew of friends over helping to renovate the house at the time to make my famous sweet and sour ribs by braising them in this sauce made primarily out of ketchup. When I opened the door to the fridge there sat the bottle of green ketchup and I thought “What a great way to use up that horrible stuff!”. I figured that no one would care too much about a green sauce it would just be left in the pan anyway. I made the sauce as usual and it smelled so good that by the time all of the guys were ready to eat the smell was driving them all mad.

I opened the lid to the roaster and to my absolute horror the ribs had taken on the unnatural bright green color of the ketchup!! I don’t have to tell you that it goes against instinct to eat green meat so I had quite the dilemma on my hands. It was my Dad’s friend Darrell who was brave enough to sample them and they were delicious! Not just delicious possibly the best thing that I have ever cooked to this day but they were still toxic green. With a house full of hungry men and ribs that were so awesome we decided to go ahead and eat them anyway. They were so off putting we had to turn off all of the lights and light a single candle so that people couldn’t actually see what they were eating. That was the very first candle light dinner I had ever attended and frankly I have to say it kind of killed the romance for me.

Those ribs have forever gone down in history as simultaneously the worst and best thing I ever cooked. They are still occasionally brought up in conversation.

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