The goal here is not actually to lose weight but rather to break all of the habits that I have formed which cause me to be over weight in the first place. The weight is not the problem but rather my body’s honest response to the real problem.
The Real Problem: It doesn’t matter who you are or what your personal circumstances are the thing that makes us overweight is the same for us all: Overeating.
There are many different and personal reasons for over eating. Only when you start asking yourself why will you discover your own personal demons with food and then finally be able to tackle the real problem rather than just punishing yourself with a diet. Maybe you eat because you are bored. Why are you so bored with your life? Are you maybe avoiding doing some things that are important to you? Why are you afraid to follow your dreams? Fear of failure? Fear of success? If you lose all your weight and get thin; are you afraid that you will raise the bar for yourself and be unable to keep up to the new high standards? Are you afraid that if you get thin you may find out that you still don’t feel good about yourself and then you’ll feel like it’s you instead of your body that is the problem? Are you avoiding conflict? Does eating allow you to accept a disappointing life? Are you living in a state of stress and panic? Do you have hurt feelings because of things in your past that were unfair? Are you angry? Do you believe that you don’t deserve to feel happy? Do you feel so uncomfortable being you that you are just trying to numb yourself? Are you using food to run away? What are you running away from?
Whatever your reasons are I can tell you this: it is those reasons and not the fact that you are lazy or simply overindulgent that landed you in the physical shape that you are in today. When we filter our negative feelings through our bodies rather than healing them with our minds our bodies show the effects.
Learn to Love your body: In the beginning when I first started this new idea of weightloss this concept was repulsive to me. I HATED my body. My body had gotten sick. I felt like it was unreliable. I felt like my body had betrayed me. After this betrayal it grew overweight and became ugly. My body stopped me from being graceful. It was big and awkward. It made me stand out. It made me a target for cruelty. It made sure that nobody found me attractive. It made me be alone. My body was my curse and I have been fighting to rid myself of it and get a “new body” for more than 20 years. This is crazy if you consider that I am only 30. Two thirds of my life I have been struggling to be something other than what I am.
When I read Women, Food and God I finally realized that my body is the most amazing gift I could ever have. A body is always honest. It shows you what you’ve given it. Even after decades of abuse your body will still guide you to perfect happiness if you only just listen to it. Your body speaks to your subtly every moment of the day and always tells the truth. If there is one thing in this world that you can rely on it is your body. Your body will always gain weight if you give it more than it needs and your body will always lose weight if you give it less. It’s like math. There is no other possibility. This is the answer. Amazingly you don’t have to suffer to lose weight. All you have to do is listen. Your body will tell you when to eat with hunger. It will tell you when you’ve had enough by the hunger disappearing. You don’t need to count calories or follow a plan. You just need to listen. Your body needs food for the nutrients. It will tell you what food it needs if you pay attention. If a certain food makes you feel amazing and full of energy then that’s what your body wanted. If a food makes you feel like you need a sleep then that’s not what your body wanted. It’s so simple.
I love my body because it always makes sense. I could not experience my life without my body. When I got Graves disease my body survived against incredible odds. My body has always fought for me. It has always been strong and capable. And now that I have my daughter I am in complete awe of what my body can do. It created a beautiful life. My body kept my daughter nourished for the first part of her life. The only thing that my daughter needed to live was my body. How could I ever look at my body again with anything other than complete love. My body deserves to be treated with kindness and I can’t think of anything less kind than dieting or overeating. So it is my plan to never do either ever again.
It Won’t Be Easy: The idea seems so simple. It seems so amazingly easy but the problem here is it isn’t. If you have been using food to cope with all of your emotional problems and you remove your coping mechanism your emotional problems will rear their ugly heads and freak out a little. Removing a coping mechanism does not remove the problem itself. It simply makes the problem a little more unbearable until you find a better and more appropriate coping strategy. This is a good time to sit down and really try to pin point your personal issues and think of solutions to pre-emptively strike against the inevitable back lash. I just dove in head first when I started and I had a few really emotional moments where I went running back to food to numb the discomfort of facing my problems with my mind instead of my body. It has taken me three years now of thinking and trying and failing and trying again and again. I can tell you this. After this time I can clearly see when I am using food more like a drug and it doesn’t make me feel better anymore. I have slowly and systematically cleared away many of the emotional scars I had been carrying with me for decades. The only things that linger for me now are the deepest worn paths in my mind: A fear of success and generalized lingering of low self esteem. If you stick with this you will be thin and happier for the rest of your life because you will have fixed the problems. It’s like taking the wheel of your own life instead of just sitting on the side lines. It’s exciting and scary because the responsibility for your own happiness lands solely on your shoulders. Truly that’s where it has been all along anyway. It’s time to start living with intention. Live your life on purpose. It makes sense for me to start here with food and body issues because this is the thing I have always let hold me back. Good luck to all of you who choose to join me on this incredible path to freedom. If you have any questions or comments feel free to leave them comment section. I will do my best to support you.